| Too often, men put "techniques" ahead of building | | | | complimenting him, looking at him with a sexy gaze, |
| confidence, which results in techniques chosen to | | | | etc.After trying the hardcore approach on dozens of |
| preserve the ego rather than a technique chosen | | | | women, and having limited success overall, I |
| because it ensures a greater chance of success. For | | | | concluded that confidence and boldness is not |
| example, in some cases it is better to get a woman's | | | | enough, by themselves, to attract and seduce. You |
| email because you can tell she won't be very | | | | need to also allow the woman to do her part. The |
| reachable on the phone. So if I personally make a | | | | woman's part to play in the "mating dance" is her |
| decision like that, it is based on good strategy, | | | | signalling the man to take things to the next level. It |
| whereas some other guys will opt for the email route | | | | is her role in the selection process. Once she gives |
| because they are scared of calling.Another example | | | | the "green light", then you can start taking things to |
| of good strategy is waiting to approach a woman | | | | the next level, physically. This is an example of good |
| until she appears most receptive. Shy men would use | | | | strategy. It is also showing respect for the natural |
| the she-isn't-receptive clause to avoid approaching | | | | male-female dynamic. You need to respect the |
| altogether, as an excuse. Experienced, confident men, | | | | process.Another example of good strategy is |
| would instead delay approaching until she gives some | | | | meeting women in clubs, using an Indirect approach. |
| sort of sign, indicating the best time to approach.The | | | | If you going in guns-blazing, and go up to the girl you |
| problem with some good mating dance strategies is | | | | want, ignoring her friends, you will likely be shot |
| that they are often mis-used (and mis-interpreted) | | | | down, DESPITE having the confidence to go after |
| by men who are simply shy towards women and | | | | what you want. In this case, the best approach |
| want the easy way out. Therefore, it is my strong | | | | would be to approach the group of friends and get |
| belief that a guy new to the "game" should initially | | | | to know them first, before shifting focus to the girl |
| practice a bold, very forward (Direct) style in his | | | | you want, and only after it becomes clear that SHE |
| interactions with women. Then once he builds the | | | | would like to know YOU better. It is not a question |
| confidence he can temper the style with a less | | | | of choosing the latter because you are fearful of |
| aggressive (more Indirect) style, which may work | | | | rejection, but because it is better strategy, like a |
| better depending on the circumstances.In the past I | | | | better "chess" position to play. You'll be thinking to |
| have tried an extreme form of Direct (take no | | | | yourself, "Yeah...I could go up to that girl and tell her I |
| prisoners) which upped my confidence and ability to | | | | like her, but it's smarter to structure the interaction |
| make physical advances at the drop of a hat. I can | | | | so that she has to chase me a bit." Someone who is |
| now WILL IT to happen, whether or not it's wise to | | | | fearful of women would be thinking to himself, "It is |
| do that.I have taken the Direct approach very far on | | | | better for my ego if I don't go after the girl directly, |
| many dates, such as going for the kiss within the | | | | and just focus on talking to the friends instead". The |
| first 30 minutes, and if she dodged me I would | | | | mindset behind this is bad and will pollute your "vibe", |
| playfully say, "you can't avoid my lips forever", and | | | | making you look insecure, and get you shot down |
| then try again a few minutes later. Or I would caress | | | | just the same. This is why you need the confidence |
| her leg telling her i'm glad she got the chance to get | | | | first. Your decision making has to be based on the |
| to know me, etc. I made these physical advances, | | | | externals in front of you, not the internals holding |
| and persisted with them, even when she appeared | | | | you back.Now here's the counter-argument: Women |
| not to be quite ready yet, and many times she got | | | | know you want to sleep with them so may as well |
| into it only because of my charm, but even so, the | | | | be direct about it, she will appreciate it more. This is a |
| absolute most I ever got was a makeout, as I was | | | | bad mindset and has screwed me up many times in |
| never allowed to go any further. And I rarely got a | | | | the past. It is a bad mindset because, as I said, it |
| second date.Even though these women liked my | | | | neglects the role the female has to play in the mating |
| boldness and flirtateous humor, and were laughing | | | | dance. Sure, she will suspect that you want to sleep |
| with me a lot of the time, something felt off for | | | | with her, but instinctively she wants you to play your |
| sure simply because I didn't give them a chance to | | | | cards so that you don't fully act on that desire until |
| do their part in the mating dance.The level of | | | | she gives you the readiness signals. This is the power |
| boldness I demonstrated would have been great to | | | | and philosophy behind using more Indirect |
| use, but only after she gave me some indicator of | | | | methods.Before she gives you the readiness signals |
| interest. This is obvious when I look at the common | | | | it's perfectly fine to flirt, act confidently, be |
| threads between all my successes and all my failures. | | | | masculine, etc. It's even okay to touch her a bit |
| The difference between success and failure could be | | | | beforehand, encouraged even, but don't go for the |
| answered by this one question: Was she given a | | | | serious advances until she gives you the signals. And |
| chance to choose me? Was she given the | | | | if you're still at the stage where you are developing |
| opportunity to let me know that she was ready for | | | | your confidence, then feel free to push the envelope |
| me when I made my move?Women have many | | | | the same way I did, just don't be crude about it, and |
| subtle ways of letting the man know she is ready for | | | | recognize when "no" really means no. |
| him to make a serious move, such as touching him, | | | | |