Build Confidence First and Learn the Mating Dance After

Too often, men put "techniques" ahead of buildingcomplimenting him, looking at him with a sexy gaze,
confidence, which results in techniques chosen toetc.After trying the hardcore approach on dozens of
preserve the ego rather than a technique chosenwomen, and having limited success overall, I
because it ensures a greater chance of success. Forconcluded that confidence and boldness is not
example, in some cases it is better to get a woman'senough, by themselves, to attract and seduce. You
email because you can tell she won't be veryneed to also allow the woman to do her part. The
reachable on the phone. So if I personally make awoman's part to play in the "mating dance" is her
decision like that, it is based on good strategy,signalling the man to take things to the next level. It
whereas some other guys will opt for the email routeis her role in the selection process. Once she gives
because they are scared of calling.Another examplethe "green light", then you can start taking things to
of good strategy is waiting to approach a womanthe next level, physically. This is an example of good
until she appears most receptive. Shy men would usestrategy. It is also showing respect for the natural
the she-isn't-receptive clause to avoid approachingmale-female dynamic. You need to respect the
altogether, as an excuse. Experienced, confident men,process.Another example of good strategy is
would instead delay approaching until she gives somemeeting women in clubs, using an Indirect approach.
sort of sign, indicating the best time to approach.TheIf you going in guns-blazing, and go up to the girl you
problem with some good mating dance strategies iswant, ignoring her friends, you will likely be shot
that they are often mis-used (and mis-interpreted)down, DESPITE having the confidence to go after
by men who are simply shy towards women andwhat you want. In this case, the best approach
want the easy way out. Therefore, it is my strongwould be to approach the group of friends and get
belief that a guy new to the "game" should initiallyto know them first, before shifting focus to the girl
practice a bold, very forward (Direct) style in hisyou want, and only after it becomes clear that SHE
interactions with women. Then once he builds thewould like to know YOU better. It is not a question
confidence he can temper the style with a lessof choosing the latter because you are fearful of
aggressive (more Indirect) style, which may workrejection, but because it is better strategy, like a
better depending on the circumstances.In the past Ibetter "chess" position to play. You'll be thinking to
have tried an extreme form of Direct (take noyourself, "Yeah...I could go up to that girl and tell her I
prisoners) which upped my confidence and ability tolike her, but it's smarter to structure the interaction
make physical advances at the drop of a hat. I canso that she has to chase me a bit." Someone who is
now WILL IT to happen, whether or not it's wise tofearful of women would be thinking to himself, "It is
do that.I have taken the Direct approach very far onbetter for my ego if I don't go after the girl directly,
many dates, such as going for the kiss within theand just focus on talking to the friends instead". The
first 30 minutes, and if she dodged me I wouldmindset behind this is bad and will pollute your "vibe",
playfully say, "you can't avoid my lips forever", andmaking you look insecure, and get you shot down
then try again a few minutes later. Or I would caressjust the same. This is why you need the confidence
her leg telling her i'm glad she got the chance to getfirst. Your decision making has to be based on the
to know me, etc. I made these physical advances,externals in front of you, not the internals holding
and persisted with them, even when she appearedyou back.Now here's the counter-argument: Women
not to be quite ready yet, and many times she gotknow you want to sleep with them so may as well
into it only because of my charm, but even so, thebe direct about it, she will appreciate it more. This is a
absolute most I ever got was a makeout, as I wasbad mindset and has screwed me up many times in
never allowed to go any further. And I rarely got athe past. It is a bad mindset because, as I said, it
second date.Even though these women liked myneglects the role the female has to play in the mating
boldness and flirtateous humor, and were laughingdance. Sure, she will suspect that you want to sleep
with me a lot of the time, something felt off forwith her, but instinctively she wants you to play your
sure simply because I didn't give them a chance tocards so that you don't fully act on that desire until
do their part in the mating dance.The level ofshe gives you the readiness signals. This is the power
boldness I demonstrated would have been great toand philosophy behind using more Indirect
use, but only after she gave me some indicator ofmethods.Before she gives you the readiness signals
interest. This is obvious when I look at the commonit's perfectly fine to flirt, act confidently, be
threads between all my successes and all my failures.masculine, etc. It's even okay to touch her a bit
The difference between success and failure could bebeforehand, encouraged even, but don't go for the
answered by this one question: Was she given aserious advances until she gives you the signals. And
chance to choose me? Was she given theif you're still at the stage where you are developing
opportunity to let me know that she was ready foryour confidence, then feel free to push the envelope
me when I made my move?Women have manythe same way I did, just don't be crude about it, and
subtle ways of letting the man know she is ready forrecognize when "no" really means no.
him to make a serious move, such as touching him,