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Corporate Recreational Mating -- How Prevalent is It? --- A Path to Business Failure

"WOW DENISE, THOSE TIGHT JEANS SURE LOOKtoday in the 21st century is that it is now
GOOD. DO  YOU  WANT  TO  SELL  THEM?"recognized. It is now enforced and business
managers are forced to deal with it. Title
"NO, SWEETIE, BUT YOU CAN RENT THEM FOR AVII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 mandated
LITTLE WHILE."Starting this article with thatthat every working person has the right to
actual quote and giving other real lifework in an environment free from harassment
examples of the type of interaction that goeson the basis of sex.Wow! What a profound
on in many offices creates a self imposedstatement. How does one determine the
need in my mind to assure you, the reader,difference between unwanted sexual advances
that we will be discussing Sexual Harassmentand welcomed sexual advances that later
in the work place later in thisbecome unwanted. The answer is, it really
article.Recreational mating in the work placedoesn't matter. The Equal Employment
has been going on since organized businessOpportunities Commission (EEOC) defines
began. This term, Corporate Recreationalsexual  harassment  as:
Mating as used in this article does not
pertain to simple "office dating" that goesUnwanted sexual advances, requests for
on between two single adults that happen tosexual favors and other verbal or physical
work at the same place of business.What weconduct of a sexual nature when:- A term or
are going to discuss in this article is thecondition of employment is explicitly or
type of recreational mating that has animplicitly made regarding submission to a
impact on the performance of the businessrequest for sexual favor.- Rejection or
itself. Most of this type of recreationrefusal to submit sexual favor is used as a
takes place among members of upper managementbasis for an employment decision.- Such
and a high percentage of it is illicit. Inconduct has the purpose or effect to
other words, one or both of the participantsinterfere with an individuals work
are  married  and  not  to  each  other.performance or creates a hostile,
intimidating environment.There are actually
This is a situation that exists in manytwo kinds of sexual harassment:1. Quid Pro
corporations, it's rarely reported, oftenQuo:Where employment decisions or
ignored and in spite of the participantsexpectations are based on an employees
attempts at secrecy, it is often a wellwillingness to grant or deny sexual favors.
traveled rumor, if not a fact.In their(hiring decisions, shift schedules, salary
January 2003 issue, Stuff Magazine reportedincreases  etc.)
on a survey done with 3000 participants
revealing what goes on within the officeExample:- Sexual favors demanded in exchange
walls."THEY'VE TURNED BOARDROOMS INTOfor promotion- Terminating a subordinate
BEDROOMS, GIVING A WHOLE NEW SPIN ONbecause they ended a relationship- Changing
SPREADSHEETS."Before going on I shouldjob performance expectations after
preface my remarks by admitting that I amsubordinate refuses sexual
definitely a card carrying member of theadvances.2. Hostile Environment:Where verbal
"Baby Boomers". Being more honest I have toor nonverbal behavior in the workplace
admit that during the early years of myFocuses on sexuality of a person, Is
career, the 70's, I undoubtedly could haveunwanted, Is severe or pervasive enough to
been classified as a male chauvinistic pig. Iaffect the persons work
could have qualified as poster child for theenvironment.Example:- Off color jokes or
official "Male Chauvinistic Pig" movement.teasing- Comments about body parts or sex
However, experience has taught me a verylife- Suggestive pictures or calendars or
important lesson regarding leadership andcartoons- Suggestive e-mails or forwarded
it's personal relationship with employeesIjokes and pictures.- Leering or
now have a much greater appreciation for thestaring- Repeated requests for dates after
abilities, the intelligence, and the value ofbeing told no- Excessive attention in the
female employees. Today, I firmly believeform of love letters, telephone calls or
women in the workplace are the most undergifts- Touching-brushing against, pats, hugs,
utilized asset this country has. We haveshoulder rubs or pinches- Assault or rapeThe
made a lot of progress in the last twobasis or foundation to sexual harassment is
decades but we have a long way to go."STUFF"defined as being unwelcome, unwanted or
magazine survey of 3000 participants revealedunsolicited conduct that is imposed on a
that 51% confessed to office affairs. Out ofperson who regards such conduct as offensive.
them, 71% slept with one to three partnersThat is sexual harassment. When a person
other than their spouse or significant other.communicates that the conduct is unwelcome
Sixty percent admitted to actually havingthen it becomes illegal to repeat it. This is
sex in the office with the followingtrue even if the conduct is disguised as
locations noted.- Bathroominnuendos or subtle inferences, it is
..................... 24%- Reception Areaunlawful.Sexual harassment is not an
............... 6%- Conference Tableexpression of sexual desire. It is plainly an
............22%- Boss's Deskinappropriate use of power. Subtle
..................20%- Photo Copierinfringements are the most common and the
.................. 6%- Parkingmost difficult to detect and prove. Yet, they
Lot.....................15%Other magazinesare equally damaging and just as illegal as
have reported varying degrees of the samean open forward sexual advance.Sexual
survey. One well read woman's magazineharassment that occurs during the corporate
reported 53% of the males surveyed admittedmating process is a form of indirect
to extra marital affairs while 23% of theharassment. If an equally qualified person is
women surveyed admitted the same. The officepassed over for promotion because the boss is
is the most likely place to meet someonesleeping with the person he promotes then
since you spend more than 50% of your wakingthat person has been illegally discriminated
hours there. That statistic is mindagainst due to indirect sexual harassment.
boggling. It would suggest that the nextThis situation occurs quite frequently but is
time you attend a business meeting and lookrarely reported. Unchecked sexual harassment
around the room, chances are that more thancan also have other subtle consequences.
half but less than 75% of the mixed crowd isPeople witnessing the harassment may feel the
having or has had an extra maritalsame loss or damage. Harassment that is
affair...This sounds like a chauvinisticignored or denied can cause overall morale to
sexist commentary. It probably is althoughdeteriorate. Productivity will suffer and
it's not meant to be. The comments andexpose the organization to potential
actual quotes are not meant to give thelitigation.EEOC GuidelinesThe Federal Equal
impression that all women in the work forceEmployment Opportunities Commission has
are having sex with their co-workers orissued guidelines on sexual harassment under
bosses. It is not meant to imply that mostTitle VII of the 1964 Civil Rights Act. The
women are under the influence of theguidelines, Section 1604.11 (29 cfr Article
"Cleopatra Inheritance" and use theirXIV,  part  1604)  are  listed  below.
Feminine Qualities like the individual in the
following quote."I KNOW HOW TO USE ALL MYSection A:Harassment on the basis of sex is
ASSETS," SHE REPLIED AS SHE PLACED HER HANDSa violation of sc. 703 of Title VII.
STRATEGICALLY ON HER CHEST.Let me state thatUnwelcome sexual advances, requests for
it is an uncontested fact that the majoritysexual favors, and other verbal or physical
of females work very hard in the office andconduct of a sexual nature constitutes sexual
are dedicated wives. They keep their nose toharassment(1) submission to such conduct is
the grind stone and they too are alsomade either explicitly or implicitly a term
disgusted by the minority of women that useor condition of an individuals employment,
their sexual prowess to advance their(2) submission too or rejection of such
careers."Cleopatra Inheritance"The "Cleopatraconduct by an individual is used as the basis
Inheritance" is a force so powerful that itfor employment decisions affecting such
can topple nations. Look at the publicity ourindividual, or (3) such conduct has the
former president Bill Clinton receivedpurpose or effect of unreasonably interfering
regarding his relationships with a number ofwith an individuals work performance or
women. Not every woman is subject to be thecreating an intimidating, hostile, or
recipient of this phenomenon. And not everyoffensive working environment.Section B:In
woman that does inherit this power recognizedetermining whether alleged conduct
it. Most of those that do recognize it don'tconstitutes sexual harassment, the Commission
abuse it. But there is a minority of womenwill look at the record as a whole and at the
that recognize this power they have over mentotality of circumstances, such as the nature
at a very early age and begin using it. Thisof the sexual advances, and the context in
power can bring the strongest man to hiswhich the alleged incidents occurred. The
knees, fill his eyes with tears and make himdetermination of the legality of a particular
do just about anything she wishes. Thereaction will be made from the facts, on a case
are a few women who have perfected thisby case basis.Section C:Applying general
power. They have it under control and use itTitle VII principles, an employer, employment
to advance their careers.Women utilizing theagency joint apprenticeship committee or
"Cleopatra Inheritance" are very clever.labor organization (herein collectively
They are not the "Sexy Dumb Blondes"referred to as employer) is responsible for
characterized by the brunt of many of man'sits acts and those of its agents and
chauvinistic jokes.Women who use theirsupervisory personnel with respect to sexual
inheritance to advance their careers focusharassment, regardless of whether the
clearly on their objectives. They areemployer knew or should have known of their
blondes, brunettes, red heads and every otheroccurrence. The Commission will examine the
hair style imaginable. In other words, it hascircumstance of the particular employment
nothing to do with their hair coloring. Theyrelationship and the job functions performed
know what they want and they go after it.by the individual in determining whether an
Men are weak in their defense when faced withindividual acts in either a supervisory or
this inheritance. Its power is overwhelmingagency capacity.Section D:With respect to
and consuming. Fortunately, women who useconduct between fellow employees, an employer
this power are in the minority, a muchis responsible for acts of sexual harassment
smaller number than their chauvinisticin the workplace where the employer, its
counterparts of the male population in theagents or supervisory personnel know or
work place."Two years prior to becoming CFOshould have known of the conduct, unless it
she was a payroll clerk in the accountingcan show that it took immediate and
department. She had no degree and a limitedappropriate corrective action.Section E:An
knowledge of accounting. Today she is CFO ofemployer may also be responsible for the acts
a $500 million dollar company making aof non employees, with respect to sexual
six-figure income."The success of thisharassment of employees in the workplace, if
individual can't be traced to her academicthe employer knows or should have known of
credentials, she has none. It can't bethe conduct and fails to take immediate and
traced to her experience, she was a payrollappropriate corrective action. In reviewing
clerk. But it can be traced to her personalthese cases, the Commission will consider the
relationship with the president and herextent of the employers control and any other
knowledge, control and use of the "Cleopatralegal responsibility which the employer may
Inheritance" factor.Control is a veryhave with respect to the conduct of such non
critical factor. Love is generally not anemployee.Section F:Prevention is the best
acceptable alternative. Love complicatestool for the elimination of sexual
things and is rarely involved in this careerharassment. An employer should take all steps
enhancing experience. When the male doesnecessary to prevent sexual harassment from
fall victim to this process, falls in loveoccurring, such as affirmatively raising the
and may even want to leave his wife, thesubject, expressing strong disapproval,
female panics. Love challenges her control ofdeveloping appropriate sanctions, informing
the situation. This is a typical response toemployees of their right to raise and how to
the early warning signs from the victim thatraise the issue of harassment under Title VII
thoughts  of  love  have entered his psychic.and developing methods to sensitize all
concerned.Section G:Other related practices,
Please forgive me if it sounds like I amwhere employment opportunities or benefits
trying to make the man the victim here. Thereare granted because of an individuals
are many more incidents where the malesubmission to the employers sexual advances
utilizes the power of his position toor requests for sexual favors, the employer
influence and intimidate the female to getmay be held liable for unlawful sex
what he wants as well. That's called sexualdiscrimination against other persons who were
harassment which we will discuss in detail inqualified for but denied that employment
this article.The Internet provides a lot ofopportunity or benefit.Handling
statistics and information regardingComplaintsHandling complaints is not easy.
corporate recreational mating. Much of thisKnowing what to say and what to do isn't
insight is provided by the victims who aretaught in Management 101. Sexual harassment
generally hurt in the process, the otherisn't your ordinary everyday problem. The
spouse.**********first thing you must do is listen intently.
Assure them that you are taking them
"Two months ago I found out that my husbandseriously because it is a serious matter.
had an affair with a secretary in his office.Express no opinion, just listen and take
She got pregnant and had my husband's childnotes. Do not be biased. Encourage them to
who is now two years old. I can't forgive orgive specific details. It is very important
forget this horrible thing. We have beenthat you ask them specifically how they
married twenty years. He knew from thereacted, communicated the fact that this
beginning that the child was his and he neveraction was unacceptable.The next step is to
told me. His girlfriend called me and told meinterview the alleged offender. He or she has
all about it. I can't go on in this marriagethe right to hear and respond to the
because  I  don't  trust  him."**********accusations. Be sure to conduct the
interview in the same, straightforward,
"I'm twenty eight years old. My wife and Iunbiased manner you did when you talked to
have been married for almost six years. Wethe person who filed the complaint. If no
are both Christians. We don't have children.resolution or conclusion is made and the
I came home from work one day to find aoffender denies the behavior or has a
message that said, "I have to go away andvariation of the story, you will need to go
think." I knew what was going on. It was theto the next step.Inform your corporate
guy from her work. She was having an affair.attorney and seek his advice. With your
I caught them in the parking lot at workattorney's approval, initiate an
kissing. She claimed it was a thank you kissinvestigation and be prepared to monitor the
for a favor he had done. I knew that wasworkplace to ensure that the harassment
crap. I actually tried to be friends withstops. It's your responsibility to protect
him. Just before she left to be with him, wethe person who filed the complaint. You may
all spent the weekend together boating. Whatwant to take steps to keep the two parties
a fool I was. She's with him now."Casualinvolved apart temporarily by reassigning one
encounters that sprout into full blown officeor the other until the matter is resolved.As
romances are not uncommon given the amount ofyou conduct the investigation, be as discreet
time we spend at work. Offices provide a safeas possible; only interview individuals who
haven and many of the necessary componentsmay have relevant information. Enlist any
for a connection, even an illicit one. Manyorganization resources that may help or
employers fear that workplace romances cutsupport your investigation; review the
productivity, result in office jealousies andappropriate records before you actually
unnecessary distractions. But, what do you dointerview any employees about the incident.
if it's the boss or other executiveYou may find valuable information to direct
management personnel involved in this type ofthe investigation, or even bring the
office affairs?There's not much you can do ifinvestigation to a conclusion. The final
you want to remain employed. Executives thatstep in the investigative process is to
have affairs with married colleagues displayinterview anyone who may have information or
moronic behavior. It does affect their workinsights on what took place.If you conduct a
and no matter how secretive they think theythorough investigation and still don't have
are, they will eventually be exposed. Theseenough facts to draw a conclusion, you may
executives become known as players, bottomfind it appropriate to try bringing the two
feeders with no morals. It's a combination ofparties together to determine what really
the power of the Cleopatra Inheritancehappened. This option should only be
Syndrome and their own self indulgent egosarranged if both parties agree to meet. This
that controls these individuals. It may alsotype of meeting can be very delicate and
be their power and initiative alone takingshould be approached with a great deal of
advantage of younger female employees thatthought and planning.Once you have gathered
need their job desperately.Things that oftenand analyzed all the information and
occur without the knowledge of theconcluded that the incident did, in fact,
participants include them becoming the bruntoccur, consult your organization's policy,
of many office jokes and rumors. They mayreview the case with your legal council and
become cartoon characters and laughed at intake disciplinary action. Be prepared to
the lunch room. Their e-mails, cell phonesfully explain the results of your
and other means of communication may one dayinvestigation and the action that will be
prove to be there down fall no matter howtaken. Explain to the harasser that he or
careful they think they have been. Sometimesshe has the right to appeal the decision to a
conflicts become public."Are those reportshigher level. Lead Wolf leaders recognize the
ready Jennifer?" "No, James, I was with youdevastating effect that corporate
all night trying out most of the Kama Sutrarecreational mating can have on the
positions."Public displays of bickering andperformance of the business. More
arguments between these individualsimportantly, they recognize the devastating
regardless of their rank in the hierarchy iseffect it can have.Dr. Rick Johnson () is the
common place. This type of public arguingfounder of CEO Strategist LLC. an experienced
heightens the sensitivity of everyone in thebased firm specializing in leadership for
office to what may or may not be going on. Itwholesale distribution. CEO Strategist LLC.
brings to the forefront inequities in theworks in an advisory capacity with company
power structure. People resent the attention,executives in board representation, executive
the special treatment and the fact that shecoaching, team coaching and education and
or he can get away with murder while everyonetraining to make the changes necessary to
else tows the line. Agreement between the twocreate or maintain competitive advantage. You
on any topic carries no validity. Thecan contact them by calling 352-750-0868, or
conclusion is that they are a couple so theyvisit for more information.Rick received an
have no reason not to agree. Security leaksMBA from Keller Graduate School in Chicago,
are the most risk to the company in theseIllinois and a Bachelor's degree in
situations. It's amazing what everyoneOperations Management from Capital
reveals beneath the sheets. There is noUniversity, Columbus Ohio. Rick recently
confidentiality confinement in an illicitcompleted his dissertation on Strategic
relationship between boss and employee. ThatLeadership and received his Ph.D. He's also
brings us to the concluding topic for thisa published book author with four titles to
article.SEXUAL HARRASSMENTWith all thishis credit: "The Toolkit for Improved
office romance , corporate mating and illicitBusiness Performance in Distribution," the
relationships occurring, what constitutesNWFA & NAFCD "Roadmap", Lone Wolf-Lead
sexual harassment? Sexual harassment hasWolf-The Evolution of Sales" and a fiction
existed since business began. The differencenovel "Shattered Innocence.



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