Let Your Children Help You Prepare for the Big Move

INTRODUCTION AND INTUITIONAre you and your				be
children moving house soon ? If you're				attending, let them learn all they can about it.
moving to a new town or a new region, it can be				Perhaps the
rough on				school has a website that they can look at.As you
your children as they may feel uprooted and				work your way through the myriad of details that
disoriented.				you
Your children lose the comfort and security of the				must take care of to ensure a smooth move from
world they				one locale
know - from their private spaces to their more				to another (packing, moving vans, electricity,
public places:				telephone
their bedroom, their house, their yard, their				lines, change of address cards...), try not to get
neighborhood,				mired down
their school, their local park, their town and so forth.				in the minutia. Be sensitive to how your kids are
Worst of				feeling and
all, they lose regular contact with their friends and,				try to answer any questions that they might have.
possibly,				Weeks in
aunts, uncles and cousins in the bargain. In addition,				advance you could help your children set up a
they				countdown
suddenly find themselves the "new kids in town,"				calendar to build their sense of anticipation as the big
trying to				day
find their niche in a new community.This article				approaches.CONTINUITY AND CAMARADERIENo
offers some ideas that you might try in order to				matter how exciting the move will be, moving
ease the transition for your children. They're all just				inevitably
common				entails the sadness of leaving friends and, perhaps,
sense, but a little advance planning can go a long				family
way.PREPARATIONS AND POSSIBILITIESFirst of all,				behind. Make time for special activities your children
let your children know the reasons for the move:				can do
why you must move or why you want to move. Is				with their friends. Have special family days with
it for a new				grandparents or cousins, for farewell parties, and so
job or a company transfer, or is it for further				forth,
schooling or job				in the weeks leading up to the big move. Take lots
training ? Is it for financial reasons, to be nearer to				of
your own				photos during these events.Don't forget to collect
parents or other family members, due to a divorce				addresses, phone numbers, email
or				addresses and photographs of everyone that you
remarriage, for health reasons, for a new climate,				and your
for a				children want to stay in touch with. Take home
change of scene, or simply for the adventure of it ?				videos, too.
The less				(Later on, your children's photos, scrapbooks and
of a mystery it is, the more likely your children are				home
to				videos of life in and around their old home can be
understand the situation and to cooperate.Try to				shown to
get your children excited about the move - the more				new friends and complete the bridge between their
				old
interested they are, the more they'll look forward to				world and their new one.)Try to think of novel ways
it and the				that your kids will be able to
less they'll dwell on the wistful aspects of leaving				continue established relationships. For example, your
their old				children could create a simple personal website for
home and familiar surroundings. Encourage them to				posting
research the new locale - its topography and climate,				family news and recent photos and updates on their
local				new life
history and landmarks. What interesting past events				in the new place and for exchanging emails with old
occurred in your new town or state or region ?				friends.
What				They could start a group blog. Buy them pretty
interesting places are there to see in the new area:				stationary for
state or				traditional penpal-style contact with old friends. Draw
national parks, historical buildings, unfamiliar birds and				up an
wildlife, local festivals, regional music styles, or				extensive Christmas card list that leaves out no one.
fascinating
local customs ? The bigger the move, the more				Consider making advance promises (and then
there will be				keeping
that's different and exciting. For example, when I				them) for having your children's closest old friends
once				come
moved from the Northeastern United states to the				stay with you in your new home next summer, or
Southeast, I found a fascinating and exotically				whenever.SETTLING IN AND SETTLING DOWNAs
unfamiliar				you're moving into your new home and unpacking,
world of azaleas, swamps, alligators and clog				try to
dancing.Make the research into a game: utilizing				make the setting up of your children's special places
Internet, library				a
books, tourist office brochures and other information				priority. Let them help make decisions about how to
				decorate their own rooms and make them as
sources and encouraging your children to draw up				homey as
lists of				possible as quickly as possible. Some of their old
the types of things that will be new, or comparisons				furniture
				and keepsakes will provide them with some security
between their old and new locales. Have them list				and
sites				continuity and help them settle in more quickly and
they'd like to visit and new foods and activities				easily.
they'd like to				Don't forget other spots that contribute to making
try. They could list all of the positive points about				your kids
the move,				feel at home - such as a playroom or a sandbox,
the advantages of the new climate, and so on.If it's				swingset,
feasible, it might be nice to take your kids to see the				or picnic table in the yard, depending on your
				children's
new place in advance of the move. On the other				ages and what they're accustomed to.In addition to
hand, that				this, make it as easy as you can for your
might make the move itself anticlimatic, so it may				children to make new friends; you might have a
depend				housewarming party and invite neighborhood kids,
on how inherently interesting the new location is.				encourage your kids to invite new schoolmates over
The more				after
interesting and different from your old locale, the				school, and participate in local events at school, the
more a				public
sneak preview visit might tantalize your children and				library, or a nearby community center. Let them join
peak				afterschool clubs, scout troops, the local band or
their eagerness for the move itself. Either way, use				choir, an
books,				amateur theater group - whatever interests them.
Internet and travel videos to view glimpses of the				You can
new				also get yourself involved in things that affect your
region.When the time comes to house hunt or				children's
apartment hunt,				lives: join the local carpool or the PTA, for instance.
involve your children in drawing up a list of criteria or				the
desired				sooner you all ease into daily routines, the more
features. What do you and they want in a new				quickly
neighborhood:				you'll all feel like you're truly "home."CONCLUSIONS
other kids to play with, proximity to stores and a				AND COOPERATIONIf the entire family pitches in to
school, a				handle preparations for the
park, some woods to play in ? And what about your				big move, your children will feel more like they are
new				important
home - will it have a big yard, lots of trees, or space				members of the family. Let each of them have a
for a				part to play
flower or vegetable garden ? How many rooms will				in learning about your new locale, preparing for the
it have ?				move,
Will there be a bedroom for each child ?If possible,				keeping ties to loved ones in the old locale, and
let the children house hunt with you and then				settling into
compare notes with them on each place that you				your new home. Your children's attitudes should be
visit. Keep				improved, their excitement about the move
them in on the decision-making process whenever				heightened, and
you can.				their fears diminished, if you make that extra effort
The more input they have into choosing a new				and take
home, the				that extra time to get them involved in every step
more quickly it will feel like home to them.Once				of the
you've committed yourself to renting or buying a				process.Good luck with your move, there's no place
place				like home - be it
and so know what school each of your children will				old or new !

Mr Safaris

Let Your Children Help You Prepare for the Big Move